THE HOSPITAL BAG

There are plenty of sites out there telling you what to take to hospital with you when you have a baby. For example this one, or this one. There’s even an NHS video:



So I'll save us both another exhaustive list and just focus on a few things I liked having in hospital.

As they mention in that video, its important to pack your bag a good 3 or 4 weeks before your due date, just in case, and write a list of extra things that you'll need to put in last minute.

Coconut Water

This helps to keep you hydrated during labour. I took a couple of cartons of coconut water with me to sip in between glasses of water. 

Thirst quenching coconut water

iPod Speakers

It was great to be able to listen to music during the birth - make a few playlists beforehand. Your labour room will be a little sanctuary in no time.

Conran Audio Speaker Dock

Organic Shampoo

I had a shower in my room and it was great to take a shower and wash my hair during labour. I found that this Jason shampoo was also great for the days following the birth as it is clean and sensitive. 

Pure and natural toiletries

Lip Balm

It's easy to get dehydrated during labour, so take a lip balm. This Lanolips balm is my newest beauty discovery. Made of 100% of Ultra Pure Medical Grade lanolin, its so natural that it can even be used on the mouths of new born babies!

A wonder product

Natural Deodorant

The aluminium in most deodorants is said to be bad for the baby when you're breastfeeding (this is disputed, but I didn't want to risk it). I use this amazing Lush T'eo natural deodorant powder. I've heard that the Burts Bees deodorant is also a good alternative.

Natural antibacterial deodorant

A Soft Towel

It was really nice to have a gigantic, fluffy towel with me when in hospital. You should take really soft one, because you'll be sore after the birth. I love the Cath Kidson bath sheets.

Hampton Rose bath sheet

A Button-Down Nightie

Take something cotton and comfortable with buttons down the front for breastfeeding. This John Lewis checked nightshirt would be perfect with a cosy bath robe on top.

A baggy nightshirt

Baby's First Outfit

You'll need to have a little outfit ready for the baby after they come out. I had a beautiful sleepsuit all covered with leaves. Pick something that's quite cosy, as they are often a bit cold after they're born. The Petit Bateau sleepsuits are lovely.

A Petit Bateau sleepsuit

A Blanket

The mother of Lyra's godmother bought her a beautiful satin edged cellular blanket from The White Company. If I'd have had it for when she was born, I'd have certainly taken it with me to wrap her up in.

Beautiful soft blankets

Muslins

As well as a blanket, it's a good idea to take some muslins with you. The absolute best ones in my eyes are the Aden + Anais ones. I use the giraffe print muslin blanket all the time. 

Fresh muslins

Nursing bras

I found that John Lewis has some really nice ones, like this Elle Macpherson Intimates bra. You'll need one of these following birth, as well as some breast pads. The milk which is first produced after the birth is the best thing you can give to your baby, better than anything money could buy!

HAVING A BABY IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY

New territories

When I was 6 months pregnant I not only moved houses, I moved to a different country. It was all quite unexpected. Leaving my Shoreditch flat, I packed my bags (and many, many boxes) and flew north, to Norway…to the snow, and pine forests and the startlingly fresh air.

Not only was I waving goodbye to London and England, I was waving goodbye to the British medical system (to which I was so familiar, being a doctor’s daughter and a midwife’s daughter), and, for the time being, waving goodbye to my (beloved) English language.

It seemed as though I was facing what might be the most daunting experience of my life.

Obviously, this whole situation throws up a million ‘how does one cope with…?’ questions. But today, I’ll just be writing about my experience of, and the advice that came from, giving birth in a foreign country.

* * * 

‘Kontroll’ is the Norwegian word for ‘check-up’. It was one of the first words I learnt on my journey through the Norwegian health system. ‘Kontroll’, I thought, was a slightly unsettling word for someone in my situation.

Lost control, and lost-in-translation. That’s how it all seemed at the beginning, and those feelings were probably the most difficult thing about giving birth in a foreign place. It was good to have a Norwegian-English speaker (my bf) at the appointments with me, although the nurse spoke almost perfect English. 

I had been having check-ups in England and had already developed expectations from those. I didn't know if I'd have the same tests or check-ups, and I was worried that I would get to hospital and have something unfamiliar and unexpected thrust upon me. So I tried to ask as many questions as possible, even about the simplest things, just to get an idea of how things were done over here. Whilst there were differences, it actually turned out that there were many things I preferred in the Norwegian system. They were very keen on trying to encourage natural birth, and were on my side when it came to my wish not to be induced at day 11.

Whilst I needed to manage my homeland expectations, that’s not to say that they weren’t useful in some way. In the Norwegian health centre, they loaded me up with leaflets, all of them in Norwegian, and none of which I understood at the time. Luckily I also had a folder of all the stuff I was given in England. Getting hold of English resources (NHS guides, books, magazines) helps you to learn about what to expect. You could ask a friend back home to send you these things, or contact your old doctor directly.

As it got closer to due date, I was invited on a tour of the maternity wing at the hospital. This helped to familiarise me with everything there. The tour was in Norwegian, but I had my boyfriend/translator with me. Even though it was useful, I still had a few niggling doubts at the back of my mind. 

Forest for miles and miles (hospital view)

Afterwards, I went to the midwife office, and asked if I could meet up with the water-birth midwife (they have to be specifically trained so there were only 2 in the hospital) and I did so a few days later. I had written out a simple birth plan in English and Norwegian and I wanted to discuss if it was all ok with her. She was an older lady, experienced, and mostly spoke Norwegian. I seemed to understand what she was saying and I think it’s because we just clicked on an intuitive level. She offered that I pop back the next day and she do acupuncture – it was almost like being in a spa, and I’m pretty sure that you can’t get acupuncture so readily on the English NHS. So I was very open to trying new things! Fate would have it that she happened to be on duty when I turned up to have Lyra, and delivered her.  

When it came to the birth itself, I didn't even notice that the language being spoken around me was foreign. My birth plan had to go out of the window at one point, and when this happened I called my dad (who's a doctor and has worked as an obstetrician) in England and asked him if I should let them do it, and he just said to me 'you have to trust whatever they're telling you', and from then on I did. 

So, my advice for giving birth in a foreign country:

1. Take a translator to your appointments (partner, friend, in-law)
2. Ask questions to familiarise yourself with the new system
3. Get hold of homeland resources (NHS guides, books, magazines)
4. Go to visit the maternity wing if you plan to give birth in a hospital
5. Organise to meet up and speak with a midwife a while before giving birth, and ask her all of the questions you have
6. Write out your birth plan as simply as possible, in both languages, and discuss with a midwife
7. Be open to new things, and make it a task to discover something new and better
8. Trust the midwives who are with you during the birth

HYPNOBIRTHING

It’s really worth having a look at HypnoBirthing when you’re pregnant. When I told people I was reading about it, they’d immediately assume from the name ‘HypnoBirthing’ that it was some sort of hippy dippy fad. But it isn’t as airy fairy as you’d expect. It’s a complete antenatal education and one which is far more truthful and useful than the conventional antenatal classes. In fact, I think it’s probably going to be the future of antenatal courses. Here's an article about it from the Royal College of Midwives Journal.

I can’t talk about the full-package experience of a hypnobirthing practical course, because there were no practitioners in the area that I live in. But I did read the book and practise the techniques taught on the tape at home.

In the end, my labour totally didn’t go to plan, I ended up having a Pitocin drip and an epidural (which was literally my worst nightmare as I have an absolutely awful phobia of needles). But I was pretty calm considering the situation and would do it all over again.

Marie Mongan, the founder of hypnobirthing, goes over the history of childbirth and argues that the ‘pains’ we feel during contractions are, ultimately, because of fears instilled in us over centuries. She constantly drives home the point that this is what our bodies are made to do and that we should embrace the whole experience and see it as something natural rather than medical.

The methods (breathing techniques, visualisations etc.) in hypnobirthing are designed to override the ‘flight or fight’ response your body has when you are scared. When you’re scared, blood rushes to your vital organs and away from the uterus, where it is needed, and the breathing exercises Mongan teaches help to stop this from happening, helping you to have a more comfortable time.

If you're worried about giving birth you need to read this book!

One example is the breathing you’re supposed to do whilst having a contraction. Breathe in for 20 seconds using your stomach, and then breathe out for 20 seconds using your stomach – physiologically this helps the contraction along, and psychologically tells your brain that you are not scared. I found that it really worked and the midwives were super impressed!

Obviously I'm only scraping the surface of what HypnoBirthing is like, so here are some resources for you to look at:

Website UK

Website US

The book on Amazon

The hypnobirthing CD online stream

And here's a video of Jessica Alba on The Ellen DeGeneres Show talking about her pregnancy and HypnoBirthing experience

A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS

There are hundreds of what-to-buy sites out there listing everything from toy organisers to video monitors as essential. Whilst there were a few pretty outfits I did 'invest' in (actually turns out to be the complete opposite of 'invest' when your baby grows out of something within a week), I always thought that, to a degree, baby shops and websites take advantage of irrational mums-to-be. Most of these 'must-haves' you can make do without. 

That's not to say that you shouldn't enjoy buying a few luxuries. Like I did, most mum's figure it all out along the way. For example, I now only have 5 baby grows, whereas when Lyra was born I had about 20. Also remember that you're not working to a strict deadline, so if you realise you need something after your baby is born, just get someone to pop to the shops to get it for you. 

So I'm going to list a few things that, whilst not 'essential', I found handy.

Baby Bouncer

A bouncer to comfort your baby

I know these can be controversial, but they are a god-send. The more reclined, cocooning and cushioned chairs are the best ones for newborn babies up until about 4 months - I think it must remind them of being in the womb. Most of them have music and a vibrate function, which really help to get the baby off to sleep. They're great because they just give you that extra bit of help in establishing a sleep routine, and if you don't have family or your other half around that much, they can be great when you just need a bit of a break from carrying him/her. This Bright Starts Cradling Bouncer looks very cosy!

Kari Me

Fast asleep

The Kari Me is a stretchy cotton sling which can hold your baby from birth to 3 years old. It's much easier to carry around than the more structured baby carriers, and it keeps your baby close which is comforting for them. I also have a back problem, but the Kari Me hasn't cause any problems at all. The first time I used it I needed to get some work done and Lyra wouldn't stop crying, but as soon as I wrapped her up in it, she fell asleep. It's just one big piece of material, so you can fold it up in your bag and also use it for breastfeeding if you want to be discreet. 

Room thermometer

Pretty and safe!

This was always one of those things in the baby shops that I walked past and never gave a second thought to. But when I saw this blue flower room thermometer, I thought what-the-hell, it's too pretty not to buy. I've actually found it helpful. I have a tendency to think my baby is at the same temperature as me, so this puts my mind at rest if I'm worried. It's recommended that baby's should sleep in a room that is somewhere between 16 degrees C and 20 degrees C. I normally have the room at 18, and she sleeps through the night. 

Rose Quartz

In no way 'essential', but lovely nevertheless

One of the gifts my mother-in-law gave to me after Lyra was born were these gigantic, glittering crystals. She said that I should place the rose quartz near the cot, and that it supposedly helps the baby to sleep. Rose quartz is the love stone and is thought to strengthen the bond between mother and newborn. I have it on the windowsill behind Lyra's bed so that sunlight comes through, and Lyra sleeps all night and is a calm baby! Whether you believe in the affects or not, its always nice to have beautiful gems around the place. 

Top and Tail Bowl

A good solution for the morning

My mum recommended I get one of these 'top and tail bowls', and they're really not too expensive, so it was definitely worth a buy. You use them to wash the baby without giving them a full bath. You use the middle section for cotton wool, and put soapy water in one side, to wash baby's bottom, and clear water in the other side to wash baby's face. It just makes the whole thing a lot simpler!

Cot Mobile

Hovering elephants

After Lyra was born, I realised that it might be nice to have something hanging above her bed, so that she had something to gaze at in the morning when she woke. Most of the mobiles on the market are either totally bland or totally trailer-trash. But I found this cute wooden elephant mobile in John Lewis, and she absolutely loves watching them gliding through the air. They're bright and fun, and the elephant's bodies contrast with the ears, something that newborn babies would be able to see. 

Voksi Pose

Pick up a penguin

These 'Voksi Pose' (grow-bags) are made from totally natural materials like silk, wool and down which all have thermal properties. They keep the baby so cosy and warm whether you use it in the pram, as a play mat or in the cot. Where I live in Norway is extremely cold, so Lyra sleeps in hers, and it seems to help regulate her temperature during the night. We also take it with us when we go to visit the farms, where it can drop to -20! It's a very handy thing! I've learnt from being in Norway that weather should never stop you from being outside, and the Voksi Scandinavian design is testament to that. They also have really pretty colours and patterns. I have the penguins.